So fabulous - https://weheartit.com/entry/134017292
I think I’m prone to bouts of depression, though I have a magical laugh, and an obsessive love to bunny art. The world to me is a playground or yet it use to be.
The past 3 years have changed me…..
Funny how your friends point that out to you, as if I didn’t know… ” Really ?, I’m a different person?” I’m okay with changing, I’m okay with letting myself go threw the hardships of life to get where I need to go… It does hurt at times when people called you out on your problems or mistakes .
I think I’m starting a new phase in my life, and I’m realizing that there are some things I need to change about myself to become a better person. Sperm donor called me out and though we have our issues, and he’s not perfect ( not even close) I need to step back and stop looking at what he is doing all the time. And know that Wow I’m fucking up as well.
I need to really be honest with myself and know that I have issues with abandonment to the point that I push people away and then when they had enough, I blame them for walking away. that’s not fair.
Just like with sperm donor….. He made mistakes… he has I’m not forgetting about that but I told everyone that I could and know they are Judging him, and truthfully it’s really no one’s business. I wanted everyone to see my side of things, and stand by me. Our mutual friends are on my side, he has no one to speak to, they accuse him and gossip is spread… sigh it’s a dirty mess that was my doing.
He told me that he does it even want to see me anymore because it stresses him out because he worries that I said something to someone or what friend is going to blame him for something. He blames me for everyone hating him.
I know this is confusing because my last blog was how we weren’t talking anymore, A lot has happen and we had a ten hour conversation about every thing … telling the truth ten hours.
I was lying to myself and not taking credit in are problems at all it was always Sperm donor’s fault, though last night my feeling got really hurt by him I got the gist of what he meant. but it hurt to hear that he couldn’t even come to his bar anymore because he didn’t want to see me. That he never has a chance, his fate was all ready determined by my words.
I need to back away and let him go threw what he needs to go threw, I’ve treated him like a yo yo back and forth back and forth. I’m not happy by this new found image of my self, it’s going to take time for me to be that person I use to be… maybe I never will be but I need to be something that can stand tall and on her own.
I use to write so good
Anonymous asked: He calls me names, inappropriate names. He's sweet now but bitter the next. He fucks me good and slow and sweet but makes me feel unwanted and gets mad at me later. I love him. He hurts me. But I love him. I love him. He's pushing me away.
ew get away from him that is not love
Some dreams just dig right into your core and fuck you up.
The worst kind of non-smokers are the ones that come up to you and cough. That’s pretty fucking cruel isn’t it? Do you go up to cripples and dance too?
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I’m have respect for people who don’t smoke…. if I have friends or if I’m around people who don’t smoke, I will ask if they mind or go somewhere else !!! I don’t blow it in People’s face … Last night this guy was giving me the third degree for smoking.. and how bad it is. Like I didn’t know. I do know everyone is aloud to their opinions and I do listen but don’t be cruel it’s my choice to smoke ! Thank you(via iliketopokethings)
smoking, ink girls are hot
Existence is a series of footnotes to a vast, obscure, unfinished masterpiece.
—by Vladimir Nabokov (via iliketopokethings)
I was in the forest jumping around daffodils while everyone was high on heroin.
—Rufus Wainwright (via iliketopokethings)
this is me with the worst pain ever!!!! I’ve even gave birth and tooth pain does not compete with this type……